why are there many tall skinny (preferably gay) guys in my social circles?
I know - it's a strange title for my latest blog post. It's taken me decades to figure out the answer to this question. My first was Peter in high school with his toothy grin - openly 'out' - which was very unusual back in the 1980s. My photography buddy was brave. And there has been a steady stream of such friends since then. My friendship social circles are full to the brim with stick insects. The taller, the better.
To understand the why, I need to share a bit of context.
I have been thinking about a poem I wrote over a decade ago called Familiarity - reproduced below.
first taste.
knowing someone.
only ever one first.
The line I did not include in this poem originally at the very end of it was this - (except for mine).
Thinking about my heart, which has been beating more erratically of late, and has never beaten in rhythm because of a genetic defect that came packaged with my birth. Faulty wiring according to my cardiologist. Sometimes the pumping switch simply forgets to turn on. The skipped beats usually range between 1-3 beats but have been known to pause for 5-8 beats when I am stressed or disappointed, and my heart stopped once for three minutes and forty two seconds when I was twenty seven years old. Let's just say that waking up in intensive care after that 'episode' was a bit of a shock.
The clock in my chest is always ticking out of time.
I prefer my stick insects to be huggers. And this is what comes with their embrace. If they are over six feet tall, my ear aligns perfectly with the location of their heart. And, because they are so thin, I can hear their beating heart in all its glory. Limited fatty tissue to mute the sound of it. Without the complication of any physical attraction (hence preferably gay), the beat stays steady. It is my favourite measure of a normal beat. It is wonderful. Being wrapped in a cocoon of joy and feeling something my own body can never give me. (There have also been a few tall female friends in the mix over the years and the platonic hugging always lifts my spirits.)
To all my tall friends who are excellent huggers - thank you. (And for those of you who are not yet at the hugging stage of our friendship, please expedite your efforts to offer a long hug.)
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